Recently there has been much attention in the national spotlight regarding the domestic violence incident involving Ray Rice and the late reaction by the NFL to an event that allegedly was known about for some months. There are many lessons for all of us in seeing how the national news has projected the conversation. However, I want to share a local perspective; one that comes from my role as Executive Director of Child & Family Services of Southwestern Michigan, which includes the services provided by Safe Shelter for Domestic Violence.

Safe Shelter is the only domestic violence shelter in Berrien County. For many years it has provided the shelter, outreach, legal advocacy, counseling, support and basic services needed by survivors of domestic violence and their children. Staff at Safe Shelter put true heart and soul into their work and have dealt with the results of unbelievable domestic violence crimes against women, children, and yes, even men. So when the collective spotlight turns the conversation on to domestic violence, their voice needs to be heard.

In 2013, nearly 2,000 survivors reported crimes of domestic violence to law enforcement agencies in Berrien County. Every race, community and economic class experienced some form of a domestic violence crime. It is unknown how many crimes went unreported, but it can be said with confidence that there were many.

Why does this occur? Crimes of domestic violence always center on the abuser seeking total power and control over another individual, sometimes to the extent that the dignity of the human person being abused is completely shattered. It is both a physical and mental crime and very difficult for many to understand why a victim would stay with their abuser. No one answer fits every situation. The truth is that sometimes the safest place for the domestic violence victim is to stay with their abuser until a safe passage out is available. Many have died at the hands of their abuser trying to cross a bridge to safety.

We know that victims say and do what they need to do, to try to keep themselves and their families safe. Domestic violence is not a private family matter, it is a crime and society must treat it that way. It is our sincere hope that one day people will not focus on why the victim stays, but why the abuser attacks.

There is an opportunity for Berrien County to come together and learn more about domestic violence issues in our local area, hear the stories from actual survivors, and discover what can be done to reduce, and one hopeful day, eliminate all domestic violence. On Oct. 20, Safe Shelter is holding a Candlelight Vigil to celebrate survivors and remember with dignity those who have paid an ultimate price at the hands of their abuser. It will be held at Box Factory for the Arts in St. Joseph beginning at 6 p.m. We hope many will attend, showing support for Safe Shelter and demonstrating that we can no longer tolerate domestic violence in Berrien County.

Joseph Goepfrich

Child and Family Services of Southwestern Michigan