A wizard, known as Ran, and a demigod, known as LoDi, were making their way to the tiny hamlet of Garylarson, located at the far side of an expansive enchanted forest. Their destination was the 13th Annual Conference on Super Natural Wizardry and Demigoduery (The conference had been going on for several centuries, but had always been known as the 13th Annual). However, after several days of travel, it appeared they were lost, behind schedule and too stubborn to admit it.

Eventually, the pair met up with a giant — a giant twice as large as either of them had ever seen (and one can see some pretty big folks at a Conference on Super Natural Wizardry and Demigoduery). Begrudgingly (and very politely — because he was a very BIG giant), they asked for directions to the far side of the forest. The giant, known as Phunniassguy, laughed heartedly and explained that he only knew about things within his dominion of the forest. He pointed them in the direction of an oracle living on the River Watterson, which flowed between the villages of Calvin and Hobbs. Perhaps, she might be able to help.

The oracle, a 90-year old, former anorexic supermodel (ever wonder what they look like when they get old?), lived on a small houseboat, moored along the banks of the River Watterson. A faded sign at the entrance to her dock read, “Olive Canola — Oracle, Sage and Notary. Mind Your Step”.

“Ahoy,” the wizard called out from the riverbank. “I am the wizard known as Ran, and this is my traveling companion LoDi the demigod. We have journeyed from a land beyond this enchanted forest, and seek your guidance to the far side of the wood.”

“Go away,” came a harsh, crackling, and ancient voice from within the tiny floating abode. “I’m watching my shows. Come back after 4.”

The travelers were already late and needed the oracle’s assistance sooner, rather than later. “Wise oracle,” the wizard politely pleaded. We are weary travelers, days behind in our journey. We could use your assistance sooner, rather than later,” (his comment was a bit repetitious, donchathink?). “Please take a moment to impart your wisdom and we will be on our way…perhaps during the next commercial?”

“You are already late,” cackled the oracle from within her floating temple. “You can wait a few more hours, or leave and keep wandering around for a few more days. Choose wisely.”

“That’s it,” grumbled the demigod. He had been patient (an uncommon trait for any demigod) while the wizard attempted to courteously cajole the oracle. Now, it was time to do things his way — using a more forceful discussion method. LoDi stepped onto the dock and started toward the oracle’s dwelling. His voice boomed as took his second step, “Oracle, I am LoDi the demigod, and I wait for…”

At that point, a plank on the dock magically disappeared, and LoDi the demigod was LoDi the drenched. “The sign says, ‘Mind Your Step’,” chortled the oracle from inside the comfort of her floating fortress. “I see you have met my enchanted dock, known as Pepr. He is my sentry, and his sole purpose is to keep bullies like you away from helpless old women like me. Now, get out of here and don’t come back until my shows are finished.”

The wizard laughed hysterically as the demigod splashed around in the River Watterson.

“You are lost in more ways than you know,” the oracle called out. “You may come back after 4, or you may go. Choose wisely, I say.”

“We are not lost, old woman,” LoDi growled, as he splashed his way to the riverbank. “We know where we are. We just don’t know where we are going.”

“Your tale is more wish than wise,” laughed the old woman. “If you seek my guidance, come back when my shows are finished. You have already taken too much of my time. Be gone”

LoDi dragged his soggy self out of the river and sat down next to the wizard, who was still laughing uncontrollably.

“And bring pizza,” the oracle demanded. “With lots of anchovies!”