Sarah Mathews is the deputy Friend of the Court Cass County Friend of the Court.

Now that school is back in session, many parents are finding themselves juggling multiple schedules such as the school calendar, sports, band and other extra-curricular activities. For parents trying to co-parent a child while living in separate households, juggling these schedules can be even more complex when there are questions regarding how extra-curricular activities impact parenting time schedules. Reviewing the terms of your most current parenting time and custody order can help resolve some of these questions.

Parents of a child are bound by court orders regarding parenting time for their child(ren) and are required to follow these orders. You should always make sure you have a copy of your most recent parenting time order and are familiar with its terms.

Neither party can arrange for any activity for a child during the other parent’s parenting time without the permission and agreement of the other parent.  For example, if you want to sign your child up for piano lessons and the only lesson time available is during the other parent’s parenting time, you will need the other parent’s permission to sign your child up for that time slot. 

Additionally, unless the terms of your parenting time order say differently, each parent should facilitate the child’s attendance and participation in school-related performances, and any other activities that the parties have agreed the child should be involved in.  Going back to the piano lessons example, this would mean that — unless the terms of the parenting time order say differently — if both parents agreed to the child participating in piano lessons, then both parents should facilitate the child’s attendance for piano lessons and related performances. 

If an extra-curricular activity is not specifically covered in your parenting time order, you may want to put any agreement you and the other parent reach in writing regarding how each parent will assist in facilitating the child’s participation in the extra-curricular activity.

Parents are also bound by the provisions of the court orders regarding custody for their child(ren). Who has legal custody can impact decisions regarding extra-curricular activities.  If you and the other parent have joint legal custody, you both enjoy equal and shared authority regarding major decisions affecting your child which includes what extra-curricular activities the child should participate in.  This means you will need to communicate with each other and decide together regarding what extra-curricular activities your child will participate in. 

Using the same piano lessons example, parents who have joint legal custody would need to both agree that the child should participate in piano lessons even if the lessons only impacted one parent’s parenting time.  Both parents will also need to make sure that they timely inform the other parent of school, music, sports, fine arts or other enrichment activities of the child so that the other parent has an opportunity to attend and be involved.  If you are unable to agree on a child’s participation in an extra-curricular activity, the terms of your court order may require that you seek the assistance of a mediator before filing a motion with the court regarding the issue.

If you have sole legal custody of your child, you may determine which extra-curricular activities your child participates in without the other parent’s agreement.  However, you are still bound by the parenting time order and cannot arrange for an activity during the other parent’s parenting time without his or her permission. 

This means if you have sole legal custody of your child, you may decide to sign the child up for piano lessons without the agreement of the other parent; however, you still need the other parent’s permission if the piano lessons will interfere with the other parent’s parenting time.

As you work with the other parent to determine which extra-curricular activities your child should participate in this school year, remember that learning good sportsmanship isn’t limited to just the sports field.  Use common courtesy and be civil as you deal with the other parent and follow up on your agreements.  As parents, you are role models for your child.

If you have questions about the FOC that you think would be helpful to address in future columns, please send them to the FOC email address:  foc@cassco.org