GUEST COLUMN: The wizard, demi-god, and something really tall: Part 3
Published 8:42 am Thursday, May 16, 2019
What has happened thus far: A wizard and a demi-god were traveling through an enchanted forest on their way to a conference on supernatural what-not. Their mode of transportation was a high-performance, off-road utility vehicle, conjured up and driven solely by the walking intolerant wizard. This arrangement was met with ire from the demi-god, who loathed riding shotgun.
On their way, they met a tradesman named Bildr, who had been toiling for 6,000 years, erecting a brick chimney that extended into the clouds and well beyond the sight of mere mortals (as well as wizards and demi-gods). Their chance meeting began somewhat contentiously because wizards, demi-gods, and shamans of structure seem to have competing testosterone levels.
“I compliment you on your dedication to this project,” the wizard sardonically quipped. “But, why has it taken you 6,00 years to build just one chimney…and how did you build it?”
Bildr ignored the wizard’s passive/aggressive tone and began his answer with a nonchalant explanation of basic physics. “Of course, you know about the Second Law of Thermodynamics.”
“Is that the law that has a $175 fine for blasting car stereos too loud on city streets after 10:00 at night?” asked the demi-god.
“Nope,” smirked the master craftsman. “High energy levels naturally moving to low energy levels,” Bildr began to explain. “Of course, you must know about the principles of combustion, natural draft, fire temperatures, and minimum chimney height requirements…all that stuff. I’m sure you learned about it in high school. Do they still teach basic physics in high school? Oh wait. I’m sorry. Did you guys even go to high school?”
“You’ve spent 6,000 years building this?” asked the demi-god, peering deep into the clouds, trying to see how far up it went. “That’s a lot of bricks. How did you do it?”
“Of course I haven’t spent 6,000 years building this,” answered the mason, incredulously. “First, I had to build the foundation. That took about 150 years. Nothing stands without a good foundation. If you don’t have time to build the foundation right, will you have enough time to start over after everything falls down?”
“I could conjure up a building with a wave of my wand,” boasted the wizard. “How did you build this thing?”
“And I could bring it all down with just one of my lightning bolts,” bragged the demi-god, as he continued to gaze to the heavens in an attempt to see the top. “Why did you build this thing?”
“He’s got you, there,” mumbled the demi-god.
“And no one should brag about how quickly they can tear things down,” Bildr turned his wrath to the demi-god. “Why do I build it? This is what I do – this is who I am. As long as this edifice stands, so stands my legacy and immortality.”
“Heavy stuff,” the demi-god thought aloud. “But that still doesn’t answer our question. How did you build this thing?”
“The way all worthwhile things should be built,” explained the mason, as he turned to go back to work. “One brick at a time.”