Three men were moving furniture from an apartment and loading it into a box truck. One had his arm in a sling, one hobbled on crutches, and the third rolled around in a wheelchair.

Jasper was always working on the next big business scheme — one that would finally propel him into the upper levels of economic status (or, at the very least, get him out of his parent’s basement). He was thirty-two years old and had been working on the next big scheme (usually spelled “S.C.A.M.”) since high school. He once tried to sell vacuum cleaners door-to-door, but was only able to sell one to his mom (against the shouted objections of his dad) and another to his Aunt Louise (against the even louder objections of his Uncle Wilbur). He also tried his hand at building a financial empire from the bottom tier of a network marketing pyramid. That didn’t work at all, but he was able to completely alienate anyone he had ever known. Time shares for a resort just outside of Des Moines didn’t fare any better.

All of Jasper’s business ideas required the use of money acquired from someone within his small circle of friends and family. This business model meant that small circle had mutated into a very short, straight line between two points – his two remaining friends Kevin and Andy.

Jasper wasn’t the coldest can of beer in the case – Kevin and Andy were equally sub-par. The difference was that Jasper had the ambition and drive to propel himself to his current level of inability, while Kevin and Andy got there by dumb luck. When Jasper came up with the idea of a furniture moving business, it did not take much to persuade Kevin to “borrow” his cousin Vito’s truck, and to talk Andy into getting gas money by pawning something that probably wasn’t his.

Jasper’s broken arm was caused by falling down a flight of stairs while carrying a television. Kevin’s crutches were the result of Jasper falling down the stairs and landing on Kevin. Andy’s wheelchair was an example of what happens when a television sails down a stairwell and lands in someone’s lap. It was a painful first job.

That first job cost more than Jasper and company could wiggle away from. The three could have easily, although painfully, jumped into the truck and sped off, leaving broken televisions and smashed curio cabinets in their wake (which is what they did). But, they couldn’t run away from Kevin’s cousin – especially after Jasper hit the light pole. Kevin’s cousin was not a pleasant man and “borrowing” his truck (and returning it wrecked) was a good way to make him even more unpleasant. Vito promised to wait until their bones mended – then he promised to break them again if they didn’t come up with the money to fix his truck. The three were pretty sure Vito meant it.

The apartment they were emptying was heated by a radiant steam heater that was stuck on, in July. Sweat was running down Jasper’s arm and into his cast. Kevin’s crutches kept slipping on the sweat soaked linoleum. The wheels on Andy’s wheelchair were starting to lose their rubber. In spite of it all, the three worked out a system that, surprisingly, wasn’t a complete failure. Jasper would carry boxes with his one good arm and set them in Andy’s lap. Andy would roll to Kevin, who was sitting on the hydraulic tailgate of Vito’s mangled truck. Kevin would ride the hydraulic tailgate up and push the boxes into position with his crutch.

It took three long and painful days to load the truck, but they did it. Exhausted and in great pain, the trio began to celebrate their success. Barely audible cheers of jubilation intermixed with the muffled grunts and groans of painful suffering. Just as agony was about to be overcome by ecstasy, Jasper had a terrible awareness — they still had to unload this truck!

Three long days later, the job was completed, the truck repairs were paid, and Vito was the only person that had ever come out even on one of Jasper’s business schemes.

Once the pain subsided and the fear of Vito’s wrath had passed, Jasper began to consider his next grand plan. It had to be something simple, painless, and not involve “borrowing” trucks from Vito. Perhaps he could sing lullabies to pre-school children at nap time.