Returning to dating has its moments
Published 12:53 am Thursday, March 30, 2006
Most people hit an animal in the road. Yesterday I hit a toaster. The cord kind of looked like a tail, but the impact sure wasn't softened by fur.
Friends say they are entertained by my unusual stories. I can't understand what they are talking about. Don't these things happen to other people?
I have been bugged about writing a book about my experiences dating again after a 25-year marriage.
There are many women who also find themselves in this situation.
Though I dated quite a bit as a teenager, our courtship was four years long. Add that up to the 25 years and the major part of my life was as a couple.
At the time I resumed my dating career, my daughter was experiencing the same feelings of disappointment, rejection and frustration.
Since at that time I was also the editor of Single Today magazine, my co-workers encouraged me to answer personal ads. They would check out the men when they brought in their ads describing what they were looking for in a woman.
Funny how the women all seem to be looking for a kind, funny, interesting man. The men start their ads with wanted “thin,” or “no heavies.” They are looking for someone at least five years younger than themselves.
One ad I responded to, meeting this man at a neutral place, a coffee shop. I had been warned don't give out your address.
He worked at one of the major factories in Mishawaka, Ind. and part time he delivered pizzas. Just five minutes into the conservation, he informed me the men he worked with suggested he get some Viagra. You can imagine my reaction. Needlessly he didn't call back and I was glad.
Later when I worked with the Saint Mary's College students making costumes for the plays, I had kept them entertained with stories of my dates. We had an additional laugh when the same man delivered a pizza to the costume room one night when we were working late. He didn't even remember me.
One guy was so sweet he was too good to be true. He took me to a movie, asked if he could hold my hand. We walked down by the East Race and talked about life.
Then he ruined everything by asking out my friend who wore short skirts and gave off different vibes.
She and I would go to singles dances down in Mishawaka. At one there was another man I found attractive. He found her attractive. I ended up dancing with his “partner.” They were actual cowboys and the one I was paired with was a former bronco rider.
Unfortunately he had lost something in the process - his teeth.
He was really very polite and even called me ma'am and tipped his cowboy hat, but I was afraid I might be gummed to death if we got serious.
My friend also tried to fix me up with a guy who joined us in my hot tub one night. It was outside in the dark and when he came around the corner of my house I thought he looked like Jack Nicholson in one of his scary movies.
Then there was the guy who was driving around with his Santa suit in his trunk of his car. Actually I thought we might be able to hit it off, as at the time I had an elf suit in mine. I was a costumier remember.
Something about him just didn't seem right. He was moving way to fast for someone new to the dating world.
Years later, I would see his face and name on the front page of the paper. Santa, who also played a clown, has been arrested and put in jail for playing with his step-granddaughter.
Guess it is really good to trust your instincts, even rusty ones.