bradfordSophia had a knack for playing band instruments.

Archived Story

Bill Bradford: Sophia’s husband was deceitful

Published 11:41pm Wednesday, September 1, 2010

In elementary school she was at position No. 1 in the trumpet section.

And when the director needed a fill-in for the percussion section, it was a natural for Sophia to hop over into that section and do a good job.

In high school Sophia mastered the trombone and clarinet.

When she matriculated for university studies it was a natural for her to declare for a major in music.

After her baccalaureate degree, Sophia enrolled in the master’s program in music education and completed it.

Employed by a large high school, Sophia’s days were filled with directing the band and giving individual lessons to students improving their performance on various instruments of the band.

There were never enough hours in the days to surround all of the music demands made on her life. And the music constantly kept her calendar filled with practices, performances and teaching. She missed having time for her own social life.

It seemed that almost before she realized it Sophia had reached the age of 37 years.

Then, thankfully, Harold took an interest in Sophia.

Harold was a refined fellow with a good sense of humor.

He had completed a bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering and was employed by a local aerospace company.

When the question of ages came up, Harold affirmed that he was 40 years old.

After a courtship of eight months, Sophia and Harold were married in a lovely church wedding.

Sophia was 38 years old.

When Sophia saw Harold’s driver’s license, she found that Harold was not 40 years old.

He was 60.

But she loved Harold and was committed to making their marriage a pleasant success.

It did not, however, seem appropriate to bring children into their family with Harold soon to be at retirement age.

And in a couple of years, pregnancy was not an option for Sophia.

She kept busy with her music responsibilities and Harold continued with the aerospace company.

They had a lovely home in Florida with the back of their lot bordering one of the many canals.

In the course of time Sophia’s parents both died and then her only sibling, a brother, also died. Then Harold died.

Sophia’s only living relatives were two nephews.

They had both married; had families of their own and lived hundreds of miles away in separate states.

Now in the later part of her seventh decade of life, Sophia has developed Lupus, an autoimmune disease.

The immune system of her body attacks her own tissues with disastrous results.

The disease may lead to organ failure and death.  Sophie feels sick much of the time and has no energy to do work.

Even her personal care has become a burden to her.

When you do not have enough energy to want to brush your teeth, comb your hair or even get dressed, life is truly a burden.

Sophie still has her very nice home. She knows she should sort through her things; have a yard sale and sell her house.

But there is no energy in her to be able to do these things.

She has no close friends who could help and she and Harold never had any children.

Even if someone was willing to come in and help her, the bother of making decisions would be mentally and emotionally too taxing.

While having children is indeed a very demanding undertaking, a well-raised family of children can be a wonderful support group in the extremities of disability or old age.

Bill Bradford retired to the rigors of a small farm in Pokagon Township. He has served as director of clinical laboratories in physician group practices and hospitals.

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