Cass County family describes struggle, benefits of having a father in the military

EDWARDSBURG — Not long after receiving her crown, Miss Edwardsburg 2013 was introduced to the leaders of her community at a special ceremony where she received a key to the village.

Megan Halgren stepped up to the microphone to give a brief speech, glancing around at the room full of people. As poised as a princess, Megan thanked the community for the opportunity and promised to serve the village well.

Then, choking back tears, the then 17-year-old turned her back to the audience to gain her composure.

When she turned around, every person in the room was on their feet and clapping, a standing ovation in honor of the queen’s strength in a difficult moment.

“These are the kinds of things that happen to military kids,” Denise Halgren said as her daughter recalled the experience.

Megan had grown emotional during her speech when she realized that neither of her parents were able to make the ceremony. Her mother, a teacher at Edwardsburg Public Schools, was tied up putting on the first-grade program her students had been working on for weeks.

Megan’s father was quite a bit farther away, serving a tour of duty for the U.S. Air Force

in Europe.

“This type of thing happens to military kids sometimes,” Denise said. “When there’s only one parent left at home and that parent is busy, there’s nobody there.”

Although her husband, Master Sergeant Dave Halgren has taken dozens of tours and trips during his 19 years in the Air Force, Denise said it is always difficult when he leaves.

“It’s similar to being a single parent in a lot of ways, except when you’re single parenting, you know where the other one is. With the military, you don’t always know where they are, if they’re safe or what they’re doing,” she said. “It’s very stressful.”

 

Enlisting a family

After practically a lifetime together, Denise said she and her husband have been wholeheartedly committed to making their relationship and their family work despite the challenges presented by the military.

“We’re high school sweethearts. We’ve always been together since we were babies,” Denise said. “He never mentioned the military until we got married.”

With a baby on the way, Dave decided joining the Air Force was a good decision for his new family.

“I think it was me,” Megan said. “He wanted more for me.”

For several years the Halgrens lived on a military base in Langley, Virginia.

“It was nice being surrounded by people who knew what we were going through,” Denise said. “We had a family support system in Langley.”

Macey, now 16, was born during a hurricane in Langley.

“I went into labor and had a 3-year-old I had to pick up on the way to the hospital. Our house was halfway under the water. Our shed was rolling down the Chesapeake Bay. You don’t see that in Michigan,” Denise joked.

Five years later, the Halgrens decided to move back home to Michiana to be closer to their family. For the last 11 years or so, the Halgrens have lived in Niles (almost to Edwardsburg).

Since they have been home, Dave has taken dozens of tours ranging from weekends to months, sometimes in the U.S. and sometimes overseas. Over the years, the Halgrens have found ways to cope with the anxiety of Dave’s deployments.

 

Growing together

Megan, now 19, agreed that the experience of sending her father away for months at a time never gets easier.

“You feel fear, worry, every time,” she said. “But I always tell myself, ‘he came back last time. He’s always been safe. He’ll come back again.’”

Early on in his career as an airman, Dave began purchasing stuffed teddy bears for Megan and Macey whenever he would go on a trip. What began as a coping mechanism so the girls would have something to squeeze when they missed their father has become a family tradition.

“I have at least 30 teddy bears now,” Megan said. Macey has a matching collection that she keeps in her bedroom.

Now 19 and a student at Baker College in Muskegon, Megan comes home to visit frequently on the weekends, taking advantage of the time they have together.

“I think [having a father in the military] definitely has strengthened the bond within our family. We have to be very in-tune with what everyone else is feeling and needing,” Megan said. “It really has given us an appreciation for each other. We feel with each other instead of for each other.”

Macey agreed that her family is closer than many families, partially because of her father’s position in the military.

“I think it’s because we cherish our time together because we don’t know when he’s going to be deployed,” she said.

Denise said some of the hardest times are when Dave can’t make it to an event or misses an important moment because he is away. Of course, leaving is always hard for the entire family, no matter how long the tour.

Like the girls and their teddy bears, Denise and Dave have an unintended ritual whenever Dave leaves.

“Every time he goes, a light goes out. It never fails,” Denise said, explaining that she is too short to change the light bulbs easily. “He checks every last one of them before he leaves, but every time he goes, a light goes out. I’ll text him when he’s on the plane and he’ll know exactly why before he opens the text.”

 

Looking for the positives

Despite the stress of having a father in the military, the Halgrens all agree that there are some benefits. For example, much of Megan’s tuition at Baker College is funded by Dave’s GI Bill. When Macey goes to college in a couple of years, she will receive the same benefit.

More valuable than any monetary supplement the Halgren women could ever receive, though, is the benefit of the enormous pride they share for their father and their country.

“Having a dad in the military has taught me loyalty, just appreciating what you have,” Megan said.

Dave has been recognized several times for his service, earning a Hometown Hero recognition two years ago, and people often walk up to him on the street simply to thank him for his service.

“My dad is a hero because he’s courageous,” Macey said proudly. “He goes above and beyond the call of duty.”

With 19 years of service all over the country, the Halgrens have plenty to be proud of and are fortunate to share a bond tighter than many families, much to the credit of Dave’s job in the Air Force. For all the challenges, Denise said she wouldn’t trade it.

“I love my man in uniform,” Denise said. “He’s an awesome dad, he’s an awesome husband. He’s doing what he does because he loves God, he loves his country and he loves his family.”