By JESSICA SIEFF
Niles Daily Star

For the Niles, a proverbial cloud hangs over the community, the result of three attention-grabbing incidents that have touched the lives of many, inside classrooms, among friends and grief stricken families.

In early February, the bodies of John and Carolyn Tarwacki were found inside their home on Carberry Road. Later that same month, the tragic loss of Alex Wentz, just 15, his death the apparent result of a dangerous game.

And last week, the death of 69-year-old Jesse Miles, killed by a gunshot wound, his grandson a suspect who allegedly told his grandmother he’d shot his grandfather, according to court documents, and now the focus of what is being considered a first for the county – a 14-year-old charged as an adult with open murder.

Three tragic and rather unusual cases for this community in such a short amount of time, begging the question: is there a toll taken on the community’s psyche?

There are “a couple of things … that particularly happen in communities,” be it a school or home or area community after these types of events, Lisa Bartoszek said Friday.

Bartoszek is program director at Lory’s Place in St. Joseph, which offers various support group sessions for adults, teenagers and children dealing with grief.

“When you have had your own loss in your life and then these things happen in a community it is a trigger,” Bartoszek said.

The families and friends of Eliason, Wentz and the Tarwackis are undoubtedly struggling with the grief of losing a loved one and in this latest case, watching one of their own face criminal charges.

Thought it may not be comparable even those who may not be directly connected to the situation can be affected.

“If someone is experiencing their own healing,” in a previous incident of loss, “something that happens in a community that directly affects them or not even directly affects them is going to be a trigger” to those feelings of loss they may have already been on the path to healing, Bartoszek said.

“They feel the sadness around them,” she added. “And it’s a lot – to think back to how many of us felt on Sept. 11 … you couldn’t help but feel the empathy” following an event of such magnitude.

Indeed on Sept. 11 the evidence of a nation’s grief was visible on television screens and in photographs. Students on college campuses hundreds if not thousands of miles away, families and individuals in their living rooms and in church pews across the country.

But Niles is a small community and that makes it practically the epicenter of those directly affected by the past few incidents.

When it comes to “seemingly senseless” deaths, Bartoszek said members of the community can feel a threat to their way of life, their safety and security.

“People who are normally feel safe and security might be a little on edge,” she said.

Aside from being a threat, Bartoszek said the onslaught of such loss can also lead to another troubling fact – confusion, something she said has been seen in each of the recent events to happen in Niles.

A killer is still at large in the case of John and Carolyn Tarwacki, murdered in their home early one morning in February. Police have had trouble determining a motive much less a prime suspect and one month later, nobody knows just what happened on Carberry that day.
Wentz’s death was startling after he was found with a dress tie, tied around his neck and to the rod in his closet, his family said it was the result of a deadly experiment to initiate a sense of lightheadedness, called “the choking game.” Still, upon initial reports some wondered if the death was suicidal and even after news of Wentz possibly playing “the choking game” came to light many wonder why his death had to happen at all and whether or not it could happen to someone else.

And in the case of Dakotah Eliason, something seems to have gone terribly wrong, as this Niles High School honor roll student, holding a GPA between 3.0 and 3.9, a freshman who has been described as “lovable and kind,” now faces charges of murder.

“I think it lends itself to confusion and a sense of ‘this is not a safe place’ and a sense of a lack of trust in the world,” Bartoszek said. “It just makes you question things.”

So as many continue to question the circumstances of three tragic events within their own community the question becomes, “How do we move forward?”

There’s an added danger of each situation becoming overwhelming what with continuous media coverage and a society that seems to embrace cynicism. Those cynical attitudes can be especially dangerous as they can lead to a sense of members in the community turning on each other.

“That is very true too,” Bartoszek said about the opinion of some that there might be “too much emphasis” on each story. “Certainly there are people who would have that approach. I guess I would think erring on the side of a supportive, creative response would be a healthier response than ignoring it or downplaying it.”

It would be advantageous in her opinion Bartoszek said for community leaders to step up and offer people some manner of public forum in order to discuss their fears and questions.

“A lack of support at such a difficult time in a community could have long reaching further diminishing effects,” she said. “I think people need to reach out to wherever they can seek the most comfort and find the most support.”