By By JOHN EBY / Dowagiac Daily News
CASSOPOLIS – Jesse Seiler went into the Cass County Law and Courts Building Tuesday afternoon and came out with three older sisters.
Judge Susan Dobrich of Cass County Probate Court and Circuit Court Family Division finalized four adoptions as part of Michigan's sixth annual Adoption Day.
Where Jesse, 10 1/2, a fifth grader at Edwardsburg Intermediate School, joined the Seiler family June 6 through foster care, a young girl presented a pink Barbie cake was adopted by her step-parents. Relatives adopted the two other preschoolers.
Chris Kadulski, director of the Department of Human Services for Cass and St. Joseph counties, said, "I'm happy that here in Cass County we have been involved in all six Adoption Days. Thirty counties are performing up to 225 adoptions in Michigan today – one of the largest in the country. What's a little bit concerning to me is that there have been some changes in the way DHS operates. We partner quite a bit now with private agencies," such as Bethany Christian Services in Kalamazoo, represented by Sarah Henry.
DHS contracts with about 45 private Michigan child-placing agencies.
"There are still over 4,000 children waiting for adoption – 45 here in Cass County," Kadulski said.
"All but six" are in homes where the parents hope to adopt the child.
"I want to thank Judge Dobrich for allowing this to happen in her courtroom. Adoption Day always occurs on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, which is for families. I was in Centreville this morning. That and this make you realize the reason we're all here. It's the culmination of a whole lot of work for a whole lot of people. It's nice to see the happy endings. Congratulations to the parents," Kadulski said.
Henry said the Seiler family is a good fit for Jesse because of their enjoyment of hunting and fishing.
Jesse's eyes lit up upon opening a Lunker's gift card.
Marv Middleton, Jesse's Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for the past two years, said, "I'm just so happy for Jesse and his family. It's so perfect it's almost too good to be true. I thank God. Remember, Jesse, to study hard. He wants to be involved in something to do with animals."
Katherine Yoder of DHS commented that the Seilers "are a really special family. They committed to Jesse without even meeting. They read all his background and fell in love with him. They've struggled, as everybody does, trying to blend a new person into a family. It's a process, and Jesse is becoming a Seiler today. He's got a mom and dad and sisters he never had before. It's the most ideal thing in the world for Jesse."
And Jesse has it in writing. Andy Katovsich wrote a family pledge that all of the Seilers signed and will be displaying in a frame.
"It's a pledge I think every family should take," said Dobrich.
"We hereby pledge to love one another, not only when it's easy, but even when it's difficult. To treat each child with respect, both through words and by actions. To work hard at building and maintaining strong bonds of trust with each other. To focus on the positive rather than the negative aspects of each person's character. To maintain open and honest communications with one another. To address any concerns or difficulties in the household as a family unit. To listen to one another and to value the opinions of others, even if they differ. To assist each other with any individual issue in a sensitive manner. To take responsibility for one's own actions, even when it is difficult to do so. To make every effort to follow authority and to do what is asked on a daily basis. To avoid feelings of competition, realizing that each person is special and is loved unconditionally … To avoid testing the limits set within the family, trusting that such limits are in the best interests of everyone. To seek positive attention from others rather than negative attention. To be open, to forgive one another when it is sought in an honest, impartial manner. To appreciate having loving, supportive parents, a safe, stable home environment and for the sacrifices everyone makes."
Jesse's new sisters include: Teegan, 11, a student at Edwardsburg Middle School; Kelsea, 15, a student at Edwardsburg High School; and Kaleigh, 18, who attends Bethel College in Mishawaka, Ind.
Having a boy in the house after always having just girls is "interesting," Kaleigh commented.
They are the daughters of Todd and Tammy, both 41, who said they wanted to complete their family with a son. Had they had another baby, it probably would have been "another girl," Jesse joked.
Probably twin girls," said Todd, who also kidded, "This is my first good court experience."
Todd has Four Winds Heating and Air Conditioning. Tammy divides her time between Four Winds and their church. They have a Niles address. Their property straddles Howard and Milton townships.
Jesse doesn't feel outnumbered by girls because they have male dogs and hamsters," plus "a million fish" in their pond – not indoors.
The rural setting also lends itself to "deer, ducks and coyotes on our wall. It's full" – hunting trophies preserved through a grandfather's taxidermy.
Dobrich, whose birthday is today, read a poem for Quinten, 4, and Nevaeh, 3, Moore, adopted by Toby Moore, 31, of Constantine.
"If children learn with criticism, they learn to condemn," the judge said. "If children learn with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy. If children live with jealousy, they learn what envy is. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience. If children live with encouragement, they learn to be confident. If children live with praise, they learn to appreciate. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. If children live with acceptance, they learn to find love in the world. If children live with recognition, they learn to have a goal. If children live with sharing, they learn to be generous. If children live with honesty and fairness, they learn what truth and justice are about. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and those around them. If children live with friendliness, they learn that the world is a nice place in which to live. And if children live with serenity, they learn to have peace of mind. Hopefully, Toby, your children will have those opportunities."
The goal of Michigan's adoption services program is to place children in adoptions as quickly as possible following termination of parental rights.
Whenever possible, adoptive placements are made with families that already have an existing relationship or attachment to the child, such as relatives and foster parents. Every effort is made to keep siblings together.
Of 2,700 children adopted through DHS and private adoption agencies in 2008, a relative (43 percent) or foster parent (49 percent) adopted 93 percent of the children.
EIghty percent of children who had siblings in foster care were adopted, with at least one of their siblings – 50 percent with all of their siblings.
There are an estimated 6,1000 children in the Michigan foster care system whose parents' rights have been terminated.
For approximately 4,125 of those children, adoption is the goal.
"This year our numbers are down because of the Department of Human Services referring adoption cases to private agencies," Dobrich said.
Probate Register Donna Dodd said the court handled 62 adoptions one year. This year's figure is "about half" that.
A typical year might run into the mid-50s.
The Board of Commissioners provides "birthday" cakes for each adoptee from Family Fare in Dowagiac, which furnished a larger sheet cake for the reception in the hall outside the courtroom in the 2003 Law and Courts Building.