By Staff
Hot Diggity-Dog, that BB gun you've been begging, whining and whimpering about for months really did show up under the Christmas tree. As one kid to another, let me pass on a few things I've learned about BB guns. Learning from my mistakes just might keep you out of some big trouble.
Something I didn't fully realize when I got my first BB gun was the responsibility that comes along with it. Your folks told you the BB gun isn't a toy but you probably don't think it's a real gun, either. Don't kid yourself, it is. By giving you that BB gun they are showing trust in you and your judgment so don't screw it up by doing something stupid.
It may not kill you but it can sure put your eye out. One eyed life's not nearly as fun as two-eyed life. You need to remember that because all sorts of neat things will come along to tempt you into being stupid. Like with George, Pat and I playing cowboys and Indians. When we were just kids all we had to shoot each other with were rocks from home made sling shots.
Then we grew up some and we all got BB guns. Now this was really cool. Out on the edge of town, wearing blue jeans and heavy sweatshirts, we could wage real war against each other. Of course, no head shots were allowed because then the victim would run home bawling but only after he shot you in the head back. Only by dumb luck do we still have all our eyes and no permanent scarring. This definitely falls under the incredibly stupid category.
It took the neighbor's cat to finally show us the error in our ways. One day the three of us were hanging out at my house while my folks were at work. The neighbor's cat always used to skulk around in our bushes hoping for a chance at a bird under the bird feeder. Well, there was that cat sitting bold as brass right in the middle of the yard. I grabbed the trusty BB gun and eased the window open.
I was going to light up his hind end with a lesson he wouldn't soon forget. I took a careful bead on his butt and touched her off. Just as I pulled the trigger the dumb cat turned around and the BB caught him right square in the eye. Not only did it put his eye out, it killed him deader than a wedge. Believe me, nothing makes you feel as conspicuous as burying your neighbor's cat in the back yard in broad daylight. That was the end of our BB gun war games.
There are plenty of other stupid things you can do, too. BB guns are notorious for hiding a BB or two in the magazine when you think it's empty. One day I was at my grandma's house with my ever present BB gun. I knew it was empty. In fact, while walking over I'd cocked and shot it dozens of times with no BB coming out. Sitting in her living room, I saw a fly crawling on the window.
For grins I cocked the gun and took a shot at the fly. "Pop… WHACK!" Spider web cracks emanated all across the window from the little BB sized hole in the glass. The moral is, treat a gun as if it's always loaded. You'll save yourself a lot of grief that way. Shooting at tree trunks, buildings or other hard surfaces isn't smart either. That BB bounces back at you just about as fast as it left and there you go, if it's your unlucky day you just shot your eye out.
And by the way, times are different now. Walking around town packing BB gun heat like we used to makes folks nervous. Leave it at home. Don't be poppin' tweety birds, either. The gal down the street will call the cops on you.
So take to heart all those things the grown-ups are telling you. As long as you don't get stupid, a BB gun is safe and a lot of fun. Carpe diem.